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171. 8. Lets play carpenter. Hey, what's your WhatsApp/Line/Telegram? Hi baby! That shirts very becoming on you. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me? Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed., 15. In my lap., 27. Because you've been running through my mind all day. Im an astronaut. Can you tell me what time your legs open, please? Want to spend the night inside my tauntaun? 6. Hello baby! Is that a lightsaber in your pants, or are you just really happy to see me?, 28. 97. You dont need to go to Sephora for primer with the juices Ill produce. Want to come over to my place and watch porn on my 32" flat screen mirror? Ive just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot. They say it's the happiest place on earth,. Because you got me harder than trigonometry., 26. How many drinks will it take for you to sit on my face? First well get hammered, then Ill nail you. Can I watch? These cookies and scripts allow us to count visits and traffic sources, so we can measure and improve the performance of our site. No need to grab your calculator to get them, though; they are suitable for math noobs, just the same as algebra professors. I was feeling off today, but you definitely turned me on. Im the opposite of an Elf. Shall we see how well you gargle with my cock in your mouth? 127. He had a pot belly. Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer? There are 7.8 billion smiles on earth, and I'm still waiting for yours. 161. 3. Because I want to bounce on you. 98. The Death Star isnt the only thing that will explode tonight., 17. Because Id love to tap that ass. Im just like a Rubiks cube. You should join the circus. When I saw you, I lost my tongue. 85. Go ahead. Wanna alkylate my alkoxide? 4. How about a BJ? Because youre making me want to go down. Now, bend over and cough. Im going to Hoppip into your pants., 47. Ill kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet. Will you marry me for just one night?, 7. I can tell youre into yoga, why dont you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are? Lets make love like pi; irrational and never-ending., 3. 63. He Rita book. Do you know your ABCs? Are you the lottery lady on TV? Im positive, youre negative, lets get together and make a compound., 8. WhatsApp/Line/Telegram is better, what's your number? Are you a magician? 104. 74. 2. Are you a racehorse? I am like calcium bicarbonate. Itll make it easier for me to ride you. Im pretty bad at swimming, can I use your assets as a buoyancy aid? 19. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? I usually go for 8's, but I guess I'll settle for a 10. Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet., 20. (B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars) 12. If you do not allow these cookies and scripts, you will experience less targeted advertising. So youre not into casual sex? Billions of neutrinos penetrate you every second Mind if I join in?, 7. You know, if I were you, Id have sex with me., 17. I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). "You're attractive and I'm attractive. My zipper., 5. We have great chemistry, lets do some biology., 2. When you find it is when I'll stop loving you. I could really see myself periodically doing you on a table., 23. Take it away, ladies: 1. Is your name Dora? Do you, by any chance, have any Italian in you? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you. You look so good, I wanna kiss your lips and move up to your bellybutton. Im no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. Mine is LICK., 25. This website uses cookies to give you the best experience. Are you a stack of dirty dishes? Did you grow up on a chicken farm? Once you are done checking them, vote for the most hilarious pick-up lines and share this article with your friends! Do you wanna LICKILICKY my icky sticky?, 60. 62. Id love to get a peek at your Rat-tatas!, 40. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore my face should be among them. Because I know someone with a well defined normal vector, who admits all sorts of smooth embeddings and exotic structures., 42. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Cause I wanna give you kids. These are 100% fail-proof. 2. You can set your browser to block oralert you about these cookies, but some parts of the site will not then work. You look familiar. I have tourettes and only a good fuck will cure me. I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I dont need it after all. Maybe you can help a brother out. Your face is like a wrench, every time I look at it my balls tighten up. 5. 52. They help us know which pages are the most and least popular and see how visitors move around the site. Here we have compiled some of the funniest Malaysian pickup lines and also the biggest fails. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I hate texting on Tinder. 189. Are you a haunted house? Can you do telekinesis? They made a new color lightsaber called flesh wanna see?, 24. Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!, 14. Are you from Disneyland? However, blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience of the site and the services we are able to offer. Congratulations, you have been voted the hottest girl here, your prize a date with me! These are 100% fail-proof.Note: Aggressive openers work on the girls who are ready to bang, which is about 20%. Lets play a little TSA roleplay. 66. My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. I must be hunting treasure because Im digging your chest., 37. My Sims just had babies and now Im jealous. Automated page speed optimizations for fast site performance. A baked apple pie. Now that you have these cheesy pick up lines ready to go, add these flirty knock-knock jokes . Smooth pick up lines are handy, whether you are in a bar or at a party. My friend and I made a bet, and I need to check if those are implants., 28. 59. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. 6. I hope you like dragons, because Ill be dragon my balls across your face tonight. What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? 7. Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed. You remind me of a leaf blower. You're everything I thought I never wanted in a girl. Im just like a pore strip. 156. Because every time your around my dick swells up. Its possible for the video provider to build a profile of your interests and show you relevant adverts on this or other websites. Heck, if youre just browsing for some funny stuff to read you hit the jackpot as we had a fun time putting together these questions that you would ask someone you like out. I dont want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent., 19. Can I hide it inside you? 102. I've seen you before you were at the spankathon downtown 2 weeks ago. Did you fall from heaven, or were you kicked out for being too damn naughty? 13. Smile, if you want to have sex with me., 4. You work at a post office? 115. Girl are you an iceberg? My biology teacher told me that the lips are the most sensitive part of the body, wanna find out if she was right? We both bring the cuddles. I would really like to bisect your angle., 8. Well, here I am. Can I put yours in my mouth? Don't worry, I will NEVER spam you. 1) cuddles 2) a bedtime story 3) some dick, Did you grow up on a farm? Its pretty big, but it doesnt leak., 13. If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Because we can go hump back at my place. What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional? Cause you just gave me a raise., 14. Hey, you just cured my erectile dysfunction. Because youre gonna be on your knees tonight. Dont worry about drinking your calories, Ill help you burn them off. Id love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. Oh, you like sleeping? Me too! Cuz my balls are at the ready!, 21. 163. Fuck me if Im wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right? Have we had sex before? Because we respect your right to privacy, you can choose not to allow some types of cookies. Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. 120. 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. My magical watch says youre not wearing any panties? Because I swear that ass is calling me. Youre just like a wine tasting. First time on Tinder, I'm confused. I work in orifices, got any openings? I want to penetrate your Death Star., 18. opening line on Tinder? 80. Because I could compliment you all day!, 41. Hello. What's up? I said: Do you want to taste my drink?, 29. Hey, do you have an inhaler? Because you looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me. Im no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!, 36. Cause that ass is calling me!, 2. In my mind, were going to have sex anyway, so you might as well be in the room., 1. Because Im digging that ass. Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame. Can you help?, 4. For example, Wine (Stella or Rosa), Flower (Lily, Daisy, Jasmine), Princess (Cindy, Ella), Flattering (Precious, joy, honey). Hey girl, Im a fully-fledged meteorologist and somethings telling me youre in for a few inches tonight. Did you hear about the fat Marley kid? They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing. 178. I can see into the future, and yeah, were gonna fuck at least once. 180. 2. They would either laugh by the silliness of it, smile or think that you're cute for having the courage to break the ice in such manner. If you've got a crush you want to impress or want to express your feelings that do that in a humorous way. You should use these pick up lines at your own risk because anyone who is easily offended probably wont be happy with hearing them. 179. Why dont you panic your parents and stay over at mine tonight without telling them? Wi' jam in! Ive got something you can bounce on. My magical watch says youre not wearing any panties oh, you are? If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple. 56. What's in this Guide Chapter 1 What are pickup lines? Lean up against a pillar with sunglasses and a black leather vest. After being gone for over four years. 121. Even though I am in Gryffindor, every time I see you something in my pants is Slytherin!, 29. Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off., 34. Im a businessman. They are cheesy and funny, and maybe they might just work for you. Want to see if you can add has an awesome gag reflex to your resume? Let's be honest.You want to get laid right NOW. 27. What's your number? Have we had sex before? It involves bodily fluids. Girl, we go together so well. These funny pick up lines will show you have a great sense of humor. Apparently Captain Marvel says this. You can use them at a bar, on a date, on Tinder, for your partner, or even at work. When you stared at me, my heart stopped. "I'm not used to approaching strangers but your smile invited me to talk to you.". Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. Baby you give my electrons a positive charge!, 9. Those are some nice pants! 1. Catch up with your crush's inertia in motion. You are so selfish. ], 17. 91. Damn! My dick is like a catnip; itll make a cougar like you go wild., 10. Have you been taking lessons from a Lickitung?, 39. Baby were asymptotic you get on top of me, and in the limit, we become one., 59. Im an adventurer and I want to explore your cave. 153. My apartment. [Girl: No.] Are you a Hitmonlee? I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight Im gonna destroy that pussy., 13. A cheesy pickup line. Okay not sure about the last one, though! 2.7K Likes, 102 Comments. 1 Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent. If you were oxygen, I would be an alkali metal so I could get in you and explode., 18. Sex is a killer. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Ill treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!, 4. If you get me wet, you will see an explosive reaction., 22. 271+ Really Interesting Questions to Ask a Girl You Like, 5 Fabulous Tips to Make Any Woman Squirt Easily, Eating Pussy 101: Become Her Master with These Tips & Tricks, Truth About Titan Gel: Reviews, Ingredients & Results Exposed, 251+ Dirty & Sexual Questions to Ask a Girl, 14 Great Ways to Last Longer in Bed & Increase Stamina. Youve been a very bad boy. We use information collected through cookies and similar technologies to improve your experience on our site, analyse how you use it and for marketing purposes. F*ck me if Im wrong, but we have plans to have sex tonight., 18. Baby my symplectic width might be a problem for u but dont worry., 57. 86. 12. Lets have a party and invite your pants to come on down., 14. Feel free to join the ranks of 35 000 000 readers that already found our tips helpful. I would tell you a joke about my penis, but its too long. Would you like a jacket? These are 100% fail-proof. Roses or daises? Im not such a bad pilot myself in bed., 5. Im here to rescue you. Because Ive got some swimmers for you to swallow. 131. Mind if I take a look? [Girl: What?] 3. Use these Tinder pick up lines to get a response every time, without fail. You're definitely on my to-do list tonight. 10. Are you a tortilla? Youll be the most popular girl in the office with the moves Ill teach you. 64. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but youre the only one Id like to catch and mount back at my place. Oftentimes, they're creepy to the point of deserving a slap. Since distance equals velocity times time, lets let velocity and time approach infinity because I want to go all the way with you., 21. I can only take so much flirting from a distance. 105. Oh you are? She could see the smokestacks of the factory district. I hear Filch has lots of chains in his office, wanna try them out?, 16. I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away! You are so selfish! It would look great on my nightstand., 17. Im good at math lets add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!, 19. Call me leaves, because you should be blowing me. 93. 185. If we get to work now, we could have a fourth of July baby by next year. Filipino pick up lines in 2023. If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole? In a little more than 24 hours I'm getting married. 57. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Lets go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy., 44. #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 These cookies and scripts may be set through our site by our advertising partners. 220+ Best Dirty Pick Up Lines for Girls to Use on 8 Natural Penis Enlargement Exercises You Have to Try Right NOW! 68. Im a mindreader and yes I will sleep with you. I'll text you on WhatsApp, we can meet this week. I know your crush is dead. Hey, baby want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?, 4. If you were a graphics calculator, Id look at your curves all day long!, 22. If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed? Baby, you make me harder than the traveling salesman problem., 37. [shakes head in disgust] You're so pretty you actually made me forget my terrible pick-up line. Because I want to flip you over and eat you out. 114. Because youre giving me wood. If Im a pain in your ass We can just add more lubricant. What do you prefer eggs or pancakes? [He: No] Well, we should., 11. Your face says innocent but that body is telling me something completely different. Well then let me put my head in your mouth. Cause you sure know how to raise a cock., 44.

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