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Its okay that sometimes Im in physical pain and need time to recuperate. Well see you at other times but this ones for us.. I have a couple of friends/acquaintances(sp? 3. Like Sounds great but tonight wouldnt work for me or Yknow what, Im pretty tired, I could have made something shorter work but that play will just be too much or just Hm, nah. I dont understand the point of the question. Number 6 is my answer to " why don t u want to have kids ? Or you pretend to suddenly get involved in learning new cooking recipes, or working on your car, or doing competitive chess, or something that isnt a once-a-month kind of hobby. Auto-reply email sample: Hi [first_name], Thanks so much for reaching out! They think I cant give a soft no because Ive already said Im not busy and I cant give a hard no because Im a woman. It is handy because it has a friendly tone of I dont want to go into detail while still participating in the conversation. Thats the way to go. He would intentionally just hint around until they offered. This reminds me of a post the Captain did on Freeing Yourself from Constant Contact with people calling all the time. I m trying to understand the other side, all those people who say they do this to make declining easier, but it just makes no sense to me. Theres this implication that the only reason you would ever want to say no to their request is if youre already busy, and yeah, thats annoying. For those who are ready to stand out from the crowd, we've gathered ten hilarious out of office messages that will inspire you to raise the bar the next time you sit down to write an autoresponder. Oh, stop it, will you? New day, old me, just doing routine stuff. Why do I feel entitled to her assistance with something I am doing for her grandmother & grandfather while she sits in her room and plays Minecraft? I usually just respond with I have tentative plans with a friend why do you ask? Lots of wiggle room there. But the thing is that people who were born in other contries than here (Sweden) ask me where Im from all the time. Funny Mom Quotes (and Sayings) Why? Them: We should have lunch soon. I am sure this is going to get attacked for scaremongering and concern-trolling, but I mean, yeah. I have to say that I get and have come to dread the variant Are we doing anything Saturday from my mom, who will use it to mean anything from I havent seen you in DAYS and I want to do something with you but dont want to impose by actually asking to I have received an invitation to something but dont want to desert you. Instead of saying: "I had a cheeky wine in the garden" Say: "I partook in an al fresco wine tasting. Could be specific to where I am, though. I really like this point! Probably just working on some homework. He said, Oh yeah? and just went on, no indication that he was asking for any reason other than general curiosity. Maybe I wont be all that interested in helping her someday. Have a very happy weekend! There are some funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for when your family keeps asking you the same dull questions. Its okay that I dont want to tell my coworkers the details of what Im reading and I get to choose who I want to share details of my life with. Oh, such discerning eyes. It feels like a lot of just Use Your Words advice is setting people up for a shock when they realize that their coworkers or acquaintances are offput by it. What works for you? I like the fact that at my workplace, anything of that sort gets a polite reminder to all that US citizens come in accents of infinite variety, and its rude to imply that people arent from here in the same way that others are over something like an accent. 1. This way, you are always busy when those people ask. No matter how old you are, you don't want to be badgered about your life choices. Copyright 2011 thru 2023 Jennifer Peepas, all rights reserved. You obviously dont have to do things any differently than you are, BUT if this conversation is frustrating and/or awkward, you may find that it goes more smoothly if you offer something up. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) I use this regularly, as does most of my social group. Rob: I'm just leaving for work. Ive never found it made any difference at all for invitations its not like I told them how much time each activity Im doing will require or what other boring chores I will also be doing. E- Excitement. However, if you and/or your husband have used that phrase in the past where she is included in the We, shes not mishearing you/he are misspeaking. 1, It feels rude not to ask back. They are asking whether you want to go on a date with them on Thursday. Like "How are you?" can be asked formally and informally, the response of that can be a unique one, too. They see how often constantly males can throw a tantrum about how theyre being bitches, where the males only complaint is, I asked her questions, and she refused to answer! That alone is enough for him to feel justified in escalating the threats, anger, violence. One of the costs of challenging social rules is that it makes it harder for people to learn them. . Leisure time is notI give up my leisure time to hem her pants or help her move back from college or make her dinner. I always respond to casual/formulaic how are you questions with something positive, specific, and widely approachable. 14 "It was a riot! (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Thats my favorite response! #2 is a good point. Its not really surprising when you think about the mechanics of it its basically stereotype threat / stereotype threat removed. Im in my late 50s and, frankly, my plans for the weekend are likely to be boring to this younger inquirer. Ive learned also that its ok to be a deer in the headlights if Im caught off guard bc I can always invent something shortly after or next day and say whoops forgot I had x. Follow. Me? Now the only person allowed to see my personal calendar is my husband, who is completely uninterested. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. 3. Its technically true and covers pretty much any emotion you might be feeling. And I try to be easier on myself for not having the exciting weekends I think I should be having. I find mildly-but-not-entirely-absurd stock answers to be a good distraction. But different cultural norms! ), Anyway, that wont do the job. Its just a formulaic greeting. My mum likes to do similar things, trying to out me on the spot and pressure me to agree to things when Im on the phone to her. In that case, if they have already said theyre free, they might feel trapped into saying yes; I know I would. Me: Yeah, Ive got some stuff I have to get done. You get to notice pretty fast that your opinions, feelings and thoughts dont matter if they dont conform to a view of the world that doesnt let them look like heroes and you like a cultural clich. DP: No free time at ALL? Part of it for me, too, is that a lot of my free time is devoted to managing my anxiety and physical issues (that I dont talk about at work) and I feel pressured to always have a good weekend. Jackpot! Nothing obviously inappropriate has happened, I dont think I need to talk to his supervisor (I dont want him fired, it would just be nice if hed back off on his own, but IDK if that will happen, or maybe he will transfer or change hours (I thought he had for a few months last year when I did not see him at all)). Interesting. You're going to want to keep your messages quite a bit shorter on apps like Tinder and Bumble .) after Ive made my piece clear. Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. Boy, do I need it. And I had to say to her, over the airport thing: Act like a grownup. Making conversions . You can do that! We teach children that they must answer questions put to them by adults, that they have no choice in the matter. Its either a soft opening for an invite or a general small talk questionand in both cases, Oh, not sure yet, how about you? is going to be one thousand percent fine. Work it like a weekend warrior! Oh god then you might need to find less-jerky friends, probably. The hubs and I do the same. friend: yooooooooo goodyou Call me. Does *your* phone not work? But its also true I can (usually) reorganize my schedule enough to accommodate plans I want to attend. Weekend gone! And we do know that extreme surveillance is a very brutal and destructive form of torture. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you?" Table of contents: I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside Can't Complain. That is AMAZING and I love Gladys (and you) and that is going directly into my repertoire for Dealing With Those Extroverts. Where I live, in Sweden, you can ask your family, friends, coworkers etc How are you? and the reply would typically be somewhere between Its good and Im a litte tired because the baby has a cold, but otherwise things are good, but never Kind of bad, my depression is making life really dark right now (at least not when used as a small-talk question). The comment is sometimes a small talk, meant to affirm that we like seeing each other, and sometimes a prequel to an invitation. Let the customer know you empathize with them and use their name to personalize your communications. Answer vaguely. Always always have a plan I forgot about until next day. Whereas a lot of us see the advantages, like the precision you noticed, to some form of rapid written communication that wasnt around decades ago. etc. Once we own that, and stop feeling guilty, etc., it becomes easier to seize the power, and it becomes easier to think of what we ARE going to say. Sorry about that! Plus, young women and girls arent stupid they know that most people will view them as being at the absolute bottom of the dominance pecking order and will resent it if they dont answer questions put to them. And then they get all pissy because the girl is taken aback by being asked out so abruptly by this guy about whom she knows pretty much nothing except his appearance. Excellent insight and analysis. My friends do it alllll the time. You'll Get Eaten Last. Im busy! @mangosteeen, I would pay money to see Nosy Tellers face if you were to tell him you were flying to the moon some weekend! Nothing? Maybe we could get together. This sentence should never be solo. 2. During this age of social media people get bombarded with Facebook invitations so much that they might very well ignore an invitation they usually would be interested in by accident (this has happened to me quite often; people would reach to me after the event and tell that they are really sad that they missed it). @TootsNYC Just wanted to say that I really like the phrasing you spell out in your first comment, in that youre acknowledging that youre making a request for your daughters time and effort. I think it would be helpful for folks to give LW the benefit of the doubt that she/he is not taking the time to write in to an advice column over very simple coworker small talk questions. Im a hardcore introvert, most of my plans are sitting at home, not doing anything in particular and if I answer the question truthfully, and then there comes the invitation, Im in a very tight spot because I already admitted that I dont have anything serious enough to warrant me declining the offer. I do have quite good boundaries with my family (after years of building them) and definitely only babysit when I want to. It took a LOOOOONNNNGGG time to train them out of, What are you doing this weekend? Later that evening I find out through facebook that HE went out ice skating, with several of our friends, and he had never even mentioned to me that he was going, let alone asked if I wanted to come too! With some people, though, perfect honesty might be the best solution if you expect them to follow you closely in social media: Uh oh, that week is really busy and I am going to be very tired and stressed in [time]. Him: Doing anything fun today? It can still get extremely wearing through, and I do wish people would think more about when this conversation is appropriate and when Im maybe not up for answering a litany of questions that literally every stranger asks me (ie when Im obviously exhausted and struggling with four bags of groceries that I have to cart away on foot). Born and bred in southern California, how are you? asked of/by a stranger functions, for me, like any scripted greeting, pretty comparable to an all right with or without the interrogative in that a detailed (or even particularly honest) response is not expected and in many cases wont be acknowledged because it wont be heard (because no one is listening for it). Those non-negotiable things come up probably twice a month, at most. No matter how old you are, you don't want to be badgered about your life choices. Silly Friend: do you want to do (thing)? Im right there with you. But I explained that I feel like Im being put on the spot- and I would prefer that she just ask me what she wants. This is another good and funny response to give to "whats up" because depending on who you say it to, they might find it to be relatable enough to laugh at.
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