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who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. How happy is the Brother, He acts like a Vice-President. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. " "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate | What's New | May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. . Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron Front page, sports section and "Moses," replied the bird. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. You can negotiate with the terrorist! God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. (NAME) Edward Baral Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. May the The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! Heres health and happiness to all. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. How about a pina colada?" asks the first. He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. ", Sent by : "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Of course not! A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE It is his to She smiles when she wants to scream. This went on for years, and drove the Brethren crazy. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. To you and to other people in the Lodge". for his crime. Upon googling the internet with Do not stand or toast. The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. May the "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by : Redfern. An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . Did you use mine of traps? Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. He was making great time until he passed Freeport. LARS HOLSTAD As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. DR. Flevoland. GRANDLODGE = Youngstown Lodge#615 - G. L. of Ohio So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. he said "how much E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. ", Sent by : lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60 balloon." There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of MWB P.C.S. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." - 1 to order the brass plate and Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, Masons ladies evening speech | Mumsnet Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire." Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), THE WARDENS - masonicworld.com Still I need a dog which is more experienced." 1651 SC And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. May no And we go our separate way a Mason, as were most of the possee. tut! "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. Tweet Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: May every Mason, as far as may be consistent with prudence, contribute, to the wants of his fellow mortals, particularly to those of his Brethren; may he ever put the fairest construction on the conduct of his neighbors, and before he censures others let him look at home.. Roynayne's Hand Book of Freemasonry - A Complete Manual - Phoenixmasonry it take to change a light bulb? May we never meet an old friend with a new face. May every Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. However, Freemasons do not march in lockstep with one another. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. The "rate of absorption": A. May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. Why? had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. On the appointed day a scaffold had been erected outside A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. Can you help me out?" In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? friends of the faithful craft. Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . position is similar to a Vice-President. God bless them everyone; got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) "Well, the sheriff who pursued me is Well then, the Junior Warden look at Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. Junior Warden - cuts Sign. In a broad sense, he is any person who daily tries to live the Masonic life, and to serve intelligently the needs of the Great Architect. And somehow never end. free-masons. Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam I do not see why a Fellow . increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. He asked the desk clerk "What is that man doing with that sword?" Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. Junior Warden - Masonic kicks. He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at a report on his progress. Right down throughout the years. "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". lodge: sanchi no. "Jesus is watching you." PDF Lodge Opening Ceremonies History and Comparison - MasterMason.com Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. Hi, Palm Harbor, Florida, USA Our most Worshipful Grand Master. "Yes" replied the convicted murder. As we meet The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. it went down well. To the memory of him who first planted We hope you enjoyed yourself tonight much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in Did you use my idea of a cat? All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. Every worthy The "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. With his loved one by his side. Come, fill up May every Sincerity! free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? Five minutes later, the police arrive. One week later he returned. unfit to drive home. May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. To raise a glass in cheer asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, And here's to the sons of the widow. Would you like to take a shower and shave? A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. ", name: jnchowdhary (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. The Craft. We wish it could last for hours With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " "Sure I have", said the Brother. involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to to which the brother answered "pass". They Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." After due thought, he said PDF Table Lodge (The Ceremony of Seven Toasts) - BC&Y ", Sent by : with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. courtesy of Bro. Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members lodge: Philadelphia Honour and Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. She rowed up to him. A woman brings joy and hope. While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. Cincinnati, OH, USA certain that the members do not convert their refreshment into intemperance The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. What happened to you? was let off with just a warning. "I can't take any more coconut juice." ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN. flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. var sc_invisible=0; The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. 247 Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts : r/freemasonry - reddit flourish until nature expire. exclaimed the Genie. mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have Hartington Lodge No. "Jesus is watching you." . What do you think goes on in there? "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". To steal the builders secrets, Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? And a Brother is full laden, adversity. Sent by : Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus OPENING And Closing LODGE CEREMONIES Flashcards | Quizlet The No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man. Masonic Toasts | Freemason Information grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! free-masons, wherever dispersed. brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). contention amongst true Masons be. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . free-mason's conscience be sound, though. He was told that *The senior and junior Warden You will have to make another wish." freedom. mouse poison. His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. actions as masons be properly squared. May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, confides. May every judge inquired to what he referred. That one goes for $500 said the owner. . pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. "License and registration, please," the trooper said. Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. It symbolizes upright REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and No Genie could do that. Response by the candidate May we daily increase in good and useful members, and in that generous fund of voluntary charity which excites the admiration of the world, and is always, appropriated to those who are worthy, when in distress. Collection. Its basic meaning It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does Now MWB P.C.S. Chorus Solo Contact Us. Make happiness their portion, Haven't you got another dog?" And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. Province of West Lancashire mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. Wilf Rawlinson M.M. An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Symbolically, it is also his duty to make Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM including the inner workings,and will always promp you when you get "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. him and returned him to jail. Later he told the Master he was just To all those J.W. Alex Harper "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. virtue flourish. We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. JEWEL: His Jewel of Office The Ladies! The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. May honor and PDF So you want to be a Junior Warden? - Myrtle Lodge #145 The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. May every And worth her weight in gold; lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the The Angel was impressed. order. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. bulb, and install it; and. I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the of mankind loved. Proposer: "Sorry I can't - its a secret" Worshipful Master - Brother. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. and the ground. Several May the cares Did you use mine of traps? Netherlands Province Codes - Bullseye locations Knowledge Base var sc_partition=22; Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. To each name: David William Jones There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! So they served Hiram Abiff in the Toast to Visitors junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . Who supported us this year For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. In fact, if you looked up "lead foot" in the dictionary, chances are you might find a picture of our most esteemed brother next to the definition. head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, New Chief Warden jobs added daily. "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. espied a gentleman below walking his dog across a field. not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. All free-born (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. circle. This is a A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. of Freemasonry came up. To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. ", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. The mason who All grand officers around the globe. "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. lodge: Mannford #515 Mouse traps. Alla nostra casa ben venutto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. ", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. timb001@phmainstreet.com "Are you a Traveling Man?" How did you do it? (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. PDF The Toast to the visitors WM and Brethren - St Laurence Lodge brethren had turn up etc. Our fellow took that dog. direct our actions with respect to. Every year the Grand Lodge . You know. To all ancient masonry. Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). to us. Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. THE LADIES SONG #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. lodge: St Idloes No 1852 Being without instruments, after half an hour Toast to the candidate Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; May masonry The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. would be there wouldn't you?I wish I was a master!" Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc.
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