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I wish I'd never done it. Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. I'm in this class. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. Why, you teach us things about life! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. An illustration of a horizontal line over an up pointing arrow. Quotes.net. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Harriette Winslow: Mother Winslow, take all the toddlers up to your room. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. So, is it all right with you? Carl: [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back! So one day I decided to do something about it. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. The Battle of Pickup Lines: Part 1 || STEVE HARVEY - YouTube Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. Three times X equals six. He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. Harriette Winslow: [Eddie got pulled over by the cops, and a ticket] What was the problem? Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny - Pinterest I want to know why my instructions were not followed. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. You can stay. Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. None of this is your fault. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker. No! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. She lived a long and full life. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [driving off] Would you relax, Steve? Rachel Crawford: I'm what? Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. Waldo Faldo from Illinois. urkel-steve. Carl: I am not. Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired! Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Caterer trainees. The bad news is, he'll charge you an arm and a leg. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. That's one for the books! Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! I'm here. Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. Oh, good. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! His parents were very upset. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! And even then I knew it wasn't right. Did I do that? Let's keep this one! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. Calm down, easy. No. Who does these things? 2023. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: As long as you're up, bring me a piece. Laura Lee Winslow: Does shag carpet also make you crazy? Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. [Calls Laura's Cell and gets OGD instead]. Eddie borrowed money from me. Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Chico! I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Laura: Sure, Steve. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. Actor Jaleel White remembers his starring role on the '90s hit sitcom "Family Matters." You're setting a bad example for the kids. Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. It was my nickname in preschool! Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. "Tomorrow Dad!". Steve Urkel Pick Up Lines - tqquu.rocks Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today - TheList.com Laura: By being born first. They help move along our sentences. [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel - CNN Video Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? It meant a lot to me. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. It was right in your favorite spot. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? Steve Urkel: I can't! Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! I'm cooking breakfast. and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. next semester, are ya? If you cut me, do I not cough? At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. You don't want to get fried. Carl will understand. Harriette Winslow: Oh no no no. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. White . Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Who? I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks. Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll tell you what son, why not give me cash for Christmas. Rachel Crawford: Maybe you could come back when your voice has changed. You have the right to have an attorney present. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! You see, I use verbs. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. But you know what, I find her very attractive. [laughs]. Harriette: This feud between you and Nick is getting out of control. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. "Pass the salt, Edward." [Carl is appalled as he has a donut in his mouth], [Carl has just bought Harriette an exercise trampoline for her birthday. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. [Goes to feel his head]. He woke me up too. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Sergeant Shishka: Don't insult my Army. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. Steve Urkel: Laura! You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. Steve Urkel to Return in Fuller House Season 4? - MovieWeb In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. Harriette Winslow: Why? Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. Steve Urkel: Practice. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Steve is the perfect son. Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Steve Urkel: [Pointing to the floor] Him. Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I prefer to call it sharing. Carl Otis Winslow: No. It's not funny, it's dangerous. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! The Battle of Bad Pickup Lines: Round 1 || STEVE HARVEY Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. Laura Lee Winslow: [crying] Steve why do you always say things like that? Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. Steve Urkel: No, I don't like to disturb anyone. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? If you hit me, do I not sneeze? You gotta fix that machineeeee. An illustration of a person's head and chest. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Would you like that? Just blacked out for a second there! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Steve Urkel: All right! Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. Steve Urkel Pick Up Lines - zrrie.us Carl Otis Winslow: I know. Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. I'll just begin a rigorist-training schedule. Make my day! Steve Urkel: Laura? Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. I don't know what to say. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. But, I'd be willing to pay you. Steve Urkel: [reading] "No mouth breathing, no snorting, no drooling". Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends. Harriette: I don't know. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura this elixir will improve my coordination, my posture, my vocal intonation, and I might even sprout a chest hair or two. Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? I got a nosebleed at birth. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". I'm drawn to you. We only have to make one quick delivery. Steve pits eight guys against each other in the battle for the best pickup lines. She actually said, "Human Being". He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What's wrong? [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. This is my mother. I'll be in all the videos. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. Let's just get there! Myra Monkhouse: Um, one plus one equals fun? You're my friend. [reading] "Mongu! [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. Carl was his horse. Steve Urkel: [whispering] I bent my dagger. And it's all my fault. Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? Steve Urkel: What? [cries]. Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok. Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. My head pops out! Eddie: Name's Eddie Winslow, but my friends call me Eddie. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Why would somebody do this to me?' In fact, I'm grounded. Laura: Don't argue. Steve Urkel: I can't help it, Laura. Carl's first word was Donut. You know that? Laura Lee Winslow: Let's just take that risk. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [laughing] Good one, Myrtle! Gosh I bet that's never happened before. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. Carl: Uh-oh. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Does that about cover it? [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Dr. Goodrich: Ms. Crawford, I am a medical doctor, not a carnival act! Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? "Clean up your room, Edward." Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willie. Eddo. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Steve Urkel - Wikipedia [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? And you got LOUDER every time you made the Maitre D move us to another table. no. Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Carl: Rough. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. They help move along our sentences. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. 1. Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well of course it's a Greek party, it's a sorority! Boyd broke my glasses. Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. [He leaves the house]. Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh don't worry they promised to come back tomorrow. T-Pain says Kanye West stole one of his lines after calling it - REVOLT Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Family Matters Compilation - "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up - YouTube We've got cheerleaders taller than him. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. You mother once tried bean bags. I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the next name]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. I'm in big trouble! Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! I want more Punch! Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. We all stand nice and quiet until Gramps and Granny make it legal. Steve Urkel on CBS? Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? Hey Steve, would you like a breast? Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! Waldo: [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. He did for suspenders in the 1990s what Robin Williams' Mork from "Ork" did in the 1980s - he made them cool. Seems I'm having all the luck. She just slipped and I caught her. Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. Join. I'll teach that. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. A mouse to cheese! 1. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Steve Urkel: So, you used me! Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. YOU'RE WHERE? Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Why she is woman, hear me roar. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? Maybe a better word is Loud. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Laura: Every time we order another course, you bring your chair closer. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? Can you imagine that? Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! On the way to the Sizzle Club, I took a little detour to the precinct. Laura: Let me tell you something. Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? Have you taken leave of your senses? Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Ouchith! Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Steve Urkel: Yes! Willie Fuffner: I don't know what you're talking about, officer. [Laura has stuffed her bra with Eddie's socks], Steve Urkel: [entering] Hi gang! And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. I met Raoul. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Come here, let me give you some sugar. Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. Steve Urkel: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. You're making me blush. My parents play this with me all the time! Carl Otis Winslow: No. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Harriette Winslow: Carl was nice enough to invite you into his game and you've been acting like a jackass.
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